We're taking a break from all the bailout and stimulus stories, to bring you what really matter. Enjoy the break from all the historic and epic crisis, and while you're at it, let us know what you want to see next week.
No, not a reference to political cartoonists' tendency to portray our former President as a primate - this time monkey business is a serious thing. Consider this a PSA to all monkey owners, don't give your little angel too much tea - or Xanax. Turns out he might go crazy and start attacking people. And the police. And then they'll shoot him. But only after you stab him. And beat him with a shovel.
A truly bizarre story. But honestly, more bizarre than Washington? Anymore, maybe not.
Above Presidential Pay-Grade
The North Dakota House of Representatives is willing to go where the President of the United States fears to tread. They don't think establishing when life begins is above their pay grade. Now it's just on to the North Dakota Senate for a vote. The same Senate that wants signs posted outside abortion clinics:
"Notice: No one can force you to have an abortion. It is against the law for a spouse, a boyfriend, a parent, a friend, a medical care provider, or any other person to in any way force you to have an abortion.
If it passes there, I'm sure we'll see it in the Supreme Court. Unless that's all they were waiting for - just someone to tell them when life begins.
Time For Social Studies
Multiculturalism is the in thing - and let's face it, is there anything cooler than learning about another culture? Especially when they want to kill you and everyone like you. A Pennsylvania High School banned a group of students from wearing their 'kaffiyehs' in school. You know, those are the checkered scarves all the celebrity terrorists are wearing these days. They work great with AKs or RPGs and most other weapons of choice - very versatile, and there's a collection of matching...vests.
The whole thing started when they wore 'RIP Israel' t-shirts to school. It's a tragic commentary on modern society. All you do is wear some radical anti-Semitic slogan, and the next thing you know, they're taking away your terror bling.
After a few meetings, school officials decided to allow the kaffiyehs, and made sure everyone got together and talked things out. That sounds fair, at least it wasn't a shirt supporting the war on terror.
Ah yes, it's that refreshing hope & change again. The justice department - you know, the new Justic Department - just ruled that concerning enemy combatants in Bagram, they don't have constitutional rights and won't be tried in the US court system. Or to quote the justice department:
"Having considered the matter, the government adheres to its previously articulated position..."
Well, you know what they say, the more things change - the more they stay the same.
Making sure someone defends the downtrodden terrorists, Helen Thomas again takes the 'offensive', referring to those seeking our nation's complete destruction and the complete annihilation of every Jewish descendant as 'so called terrorists'. Good old journalistic integrity.
If only we could have schools teach that kind of thinking to our children.